Not even in your iris ~

nearly in your arms, i was sleeping the days away
nearly by your side, i was just so far away from you
the skin on your arms, never touched by dirt, never by me
living and alive, never ..
underneath myself i was dead, killed by my own heart
i was walking around in circles, i was restless, i was you
i was you and your damn eyes, i was blind, i was
spilling my guts on the clean floor, dirt and regret, clean ..
staring at you, just nearly in your iris, just a little bit away
wishing i could be somwhere else, far away
or just the air in your lungs, something worth breathing
clean and never touched by dirt
i could be somwhere else
again and again and another last time
to spill me out
do you remember the color of my eyes?
or... (did you ever know?)
i saw my nightmares crawl on the floor, wanting me, of course
i watched them destroy you, just a little bit away
but the only thing carved out, was my eyes, i'm not sad, not sad
not at all, i won't be at all
not even in your iris